The story of Alfredus Gaudianus, the inn keeper
By Mark R. Whittington
Christmas has always been my favorite holiday, of course because of presents under the tree and stuffing oneself silly with turkey and all the trimmings.
Everyone knows the story of Mary and Joseph not finding room at the inn and being forced to birth the Baby Jesus in a stable. Then the shepherds and the Three Magi show up with gifts and words of worship. But until now no one has heard the story of the inn keeper.
It just so happens that the inn keeper in question was one of my dearest wife’s many ancestors, a retired Centurion in the Roman legions named Gaius Alfredus Gaudianus. After over 23 years of service under the Eagles, he decided to retire and open an inn in Judea, a land that he had grown fond of.
Alfredus felt sorry for the couple he was obliged to put up in the stable among the animals. He managed to find another guest, a physician named Gregorius Domus, to help Mary to give birth. Then it occurred to him that the family might like something to eat. So, he whipped up a dish based on a recipe from his beloved mother back in Sicily that consisted of noodles mixed with butter, cheese, garlic and cream and brought it personally for Mary and Joseph to eat.
However, with all the shepherds and wise men and so on showing up, Alfredus started to run short. It was then that the Christ Child, new born as he was, performed his very first miracle, know as the multiplying of the pasta. All, therefore, had enough to eat to celebrate the birth of the King of Kings.
Later, Alfredus heard, from his contacts with King Herod’s Roman guard, that the order had gone out to murder all the first born. He quickly spirited away Mary, Joseph and Jesus to Alexandria, Egypt, where they would be safe.
Alfredus lived to a ripe old age, having converted to Christianity but also avoiding the various persecutions. The early Christians would often celebrate the birth of Jesus with the pasta dish he served. The custom fell out of favor, though, with turkey, goose, and ham being served instead for Christmas dinner.
There is a rumor that Alfredus is up for sainthood in the Catholic Church. There is an account of more than one miracle when a chef, running out of ingredients, prayed to Alfredus and then, finding them in some out of the way cupboard.
By the way, the pasta dish in question is called fettucine alfredo
That’s my story, anyway, and I’m sticking to it.